Shall we?

And off we go to unofficial. Hopefully make it back...

That one guy?

Anybody know this guy? This is Tim Kang, otherwise known as that Asian guy in all the commercials. As far I know, he is in Cingular, Home Depot, Dairy Queen, and now I just saw him in a Shell commercial. I wonder if he is ever walking around the street and gets yelled at. I know I would. The reason that he really bothers me is because in every single one he makes an appearance in, its the same role. In the Cingular ads, he so much smarter and cooler than the bumbling white guy. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yOZ8f8E5Og). Have we become so politically correct that white people have to look stupid in order to be on TV anymore? Its a trend we have seen more and more. Sure, a bunch of goofy assholes going to a Raisin Bran Factory is funny, but what if they were black? Since when have white people become the butt of every joke?

But more importantly this poor bastard went Berkeley, earned a BA and than went to Harvard and earned a M.F.A. Now he is the veritable asian hooker for PC corporate sponsors looking to 'diversify' their image. Granted to be fair, he has appeared in a few other works, notably The Chappelle Show, and the new Rambo. But, still this guy should probably rethink his career. I mean, does anyone want to be known as 'That Asian guy'?

Excuse me?

Received my first Communication paper back today. Before I launch into this one, let us take for a minute and think about what class I am talking about. Com 110. Communication as Critical Inquiry. I can't decide if its even worth wasting time talking about such a worthless and idiotic class. What is this class going to teach me that I don't already know? Oh wait that's right....Nothing.

So with this class in mind, our first assignment was Communication Improvement Profile. Oooooo. Lets read a little bit shall we?

"The purpose of this assignment is to evaluate your typical communication habits, determine three specific communication improvement goals for the semster and identify a topic for one of your COM 110 speeches (based upon a paper you revise from your ENG course last semester.)..."

[Editor's note: notice the abbreviations for the classes.]

The assignment goes on to list, paragraph by paragraph, what should be included in each one. Its about three pages and there is even a little space under each heading to allow the student to jot down a few answers to what ever prompt happens to suck that bad to be considered an educated question in this god-forsaken book; which I might add, is only availble from the Communication Departments. Communist Bastards. I thought that we lived in a free economy system? Any wholesaler of College books or textbooks that for some idiotic reason chose one of the poorest demographics possible to rape and plunder, should die a slow and agonizing death of getting trampled by small feral children. Mark my words, if I don't graduate with over at least $50,000 in debit, than it is only because I am no longer in possession of my soul, which I pawned.

Sam Clark

COM 110

January 24, 2008

CIP

What rhetorical devise will you use as an attention getter (e.g., quote, humor, starting statement, imagery, etc.)? How about that? Maybe, I mean, I don’t really think that you could go wrong with that one right there. Or maybe turn the question around. What would you use? I always found that introductions were one of the most difficult things to write in a paper. They are usually the last part I add to any of my work. Either way, that intro right there has to jump off the page to anyone who knows the assignment. Now that I know I have your attention, we get to decide right now where this paper will go. Should we follow the rough outline that was presented to us and simply fill in the blanks? Or maybe we’ll do nothing of the sort and turn this into a strange diatribe for all things that are considered ‘inappropriate’ (and we use the term loosely) by modern society. Ho ho… wouldn’t that be fun? But nevertheless, as this is the first paper due in the class and since I envision a comfortable familiarity with my audience this semester, maybe we should take the beaten path -for now- and address the true issues at hand in this bizarre world in which we share, COM 110. Hopefully this semester I will actually improve my communication skills in multiple facets. I have never been an overt fan of speaking in front of large groups of people, but technically I have never shied away. I would just rather express myself in the written form, a mode of communication much more natural to me. In this paper I want to address the issues of public speaking apprehension, researching skills, and use of visual aids.

[After this paragraph, I received this compelling advise from my highly esteemed teacher "This is stream of conscience writing. NOT appropriate for formal papers." Hey, you know what? thanks a lot.]

So I have never such a curt invitation to talk about myself before; a subject much maligned by the media outlets, but with Ann Landers surely weeping somewhere, we shall press on. As far as being a communicator, I have a slight bias towards writing. I have been writing for my own edification for a couple of years now, and despite never receiving very high marks in the academy for any of my non-formal work, many others who’s opinions are held in a much high esteem than balding English teachers have assured me that it is much better than a kick in the head. And with such stunning reviews like that, how could go wrong? You’re right, you can’t. According to others who have read my work, they know that I have good communication skills although they are severely hampered(?) by an overall cynical and nihilistic view of life, which surprisingly enough is something endemic with my peers. Something I think mainstream media has begotten over the years of mindless programming forced upon viewers everywhere. My experience with public speaking is relativity limited, albeit the mandatory speech classes and presentations in class. I feel no general ill will towards talking in front of groups, but I would rather write out my speech and read it verbatim, which is not entirely the point of public speaking.

[There was another really nice note about midway through this paragraph, written in the margins: "I stopped here." Gee, thanks for the feedback. Listen bitch, if I turn a paper in that is undoubtedly far more interesting and different than anything you have ever seen before, you at least have to have the courtesy to finish the fucking thing.]

The first thing I want to improve in my communication abilities is public speaking apprehension. It seems natural to me that if I would want to see improvement in any aspect of public speaking, than one would have to be entirely comfortable on stage. How could I worry about other facets of making speeches if I am too nervous to present my A material? It would be a waste of time and result in a D paper. The whole she-bang too. Eye contact, enunciating my words, being loud enough and not talking so fast that even Annie Sullivan has trouble keeping up. And all of this fortunately is very simple to overcome. I need to relax and realize that no one is out to get me. Sounds easy huh? I have heard Martin Luther King used to practice speaking to a mirror. Maybe I’ll get a little crazy this semester, who knows.

I do need to work on my researching skills this semester as well. It was something I noticed last semester when I working in my English classes. I didn’t really know how to set about looking up information on a particular subject. What I usually do when I am doing research for my writings is simply immerse myself in whatever particular topic I happen to writing about. And this works to some degree, but only for general background information. However I think that most of it stems from not really having any deep seated feelings for the material that I am forced to look in to, the lone exception being last semester when I was working on my rhetorical analysis. I chose a topic that I have a personal interest in, and I believe it showed. The death of mainstream hip-hop and the rise of independent and underground MCs and artists is important to me, because it is a heavily played chunk of my music library. I believe that most of it is so good, I use any chance available to introduce people to it. And I think the work showed in the paper too. So the method I planning on doing, is research better?

Visual aids have long been a thorn in my side. What purpose do they serve? The subtle balance between having a pertinent visual aid that doesn’t overshadow the speaker is growing ever more thin in the days of PowerPoint. Anyone who takes the time out of their day to work for a decent presentation does so at the risk of having whatever they show eclipse their verbal message. I remember in high school making poster board displays and having to hold them as I spoke. No one cared about what I had to say, they were too amazed at my shoddy poster. So hopefully, this semester I wont have to make any PowerPoint displays and dazzle audience with my message.

So I believe that the English assignment that I am going to revise for this semester is probably the rhetorical analysis on underground hip-hop. I feel it was one of my stronger pieces, with the exception of our first assignment and my true love, creative nonfiction. That simply is not really appropriate for most audiences, as the level of debauchery in it is pretty high. Not really meant for weak ears, or any upstanding moral citizen for that matter. But I suppose I could use audio for visual aid, and by informing the audience about the death of mainstream rap, something most people do not think about at first, illustrate my points with music, instead of cardboard figures and pictures.

The end.

I wonder if that was expected. But no really, this semester I hope to improve all aspects of my communication skills, specifically focusing on public speaking apprehension, researching skills, and use of visual aids. So I hope that this paper doesn’t end up covered in red and that my own style is not shown the manger once more, but is allowed to sleep. Sleep nice and comfortable in the inn for the rest of this semester…hopefully.

What a joke. I also got a note about abbreviating the course title, even though it written the same way on the mother fucking assignment. Its not my fault that the level of writing amongst students in your classes is so low that you have to basically write the entire thing for them and any derivation from your prescribed paper is punished with a rewrite.

This is some really unfunny joke right? Anyone who reads this, please leave a comment with your thoughts about the paper.

Jewelry Commercials

Watching No Reservations on the Travel Channel with nothing better to do right now, and I happened to be unfortunate enough to come across a commercial for Kay Jewelers. I don't think that there is any way that they could drip anymore sap or corniness. The sheer whimsical value of it almost caused me to spontaneously shit myself. Here is a taste:

Attractive white chick- (opening package) "Oh, Zack, I had one of these when I was a little girl."

Dumb fuck Zack- "Open it, there is more."

Its a jewelry box that when opened a little ballerina dances around, complete with soft music. Of course its pink. What's up with that? Is there no other color in out infinite spectrum that can elicit the response necessary to get this poor infidel laid? Nope, has to be pink.

Attractive white chick- (opens up bottom drawer and sees a little black box) "oooooo..."

And than the announcer comes on. "This valentine's day...."

I wonder if they have the same commercials and just recycle them dependent on the season. How many more holidays can the corporations ruin? The official holiday season used to start the day after Thanksgiving. Stores would open around seven and with all the crazed lunatics would be waiting in line for a few hours. Now look for wreaths and trees around October. Thanksgiving is pretty much skipped entirely for the shopping experience that begins around five in the morning. I mean, shit, what's next? Stores just going to open up at Midnight?

goddamn them.

I wonder if there are any lame assholes out there in this so called society of ours that have recreated any of these heartwarming moments in their own pathetic lives. All though I suppose if you have a significant other to give jewelry to, than maybe you are a little better off than I am.

Probably not.