Behemoth
With a strange penchant towards yellow lighters, this goofy bastard is known to drive real fast in his shiny car. I have personally had many lighters destroyed because this asshole thinks that yellow lighters are bad-luck. Bad Luck from a lighter…. Yup
Turtle
The dude loves to drive. Really and truly, this kid is a taxicab service waiting to happen. He spends up to eight hours a day in his car, and once told me he should open up a touring service for the back roads of Illinois. He would smoke with the clients and show them the great outdoors…
Drunkass
Never shy to either touch you with either his feet or his trouser snake, he is a testament that everything asshole. Loves to cause a scene and pretty consistently inform you of his current state of inebriation. “Man, I am so fucked up….”
Dr.Feelgood
A drunk driver extraordinaire, his exploits behind the wheel would make any highway patrol man weep instantly. His car is a sort of Frankenstein, he totaled it on one epic night last summer, and lo and behold, it was fixed earlier this year. Dabbles in research chemicals and is employed full time as a professional thief.
Crisp
"Goddamn what a car!" I think that most of my collective audience will agree that they have had at least one meal grilled by this Wino. Smoking clove cigarettes and driving extremely loud cars, this kid is quite proud of his ability to run really fast buck naked through neighborhoods at 3 am.
1 comment:
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